Hello, I would appreciate if you could give me some advice. I have been married for twenty-five years and I recently discovered that my husband is having an affair with another woman. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he denies everything and becomes violent. He tells me I’m crazy and that he’ll have me interdicted, he has turned my children against me and wants to throw me out of my home. I would like to have him followed, but I am afraid that this might make things worse, moreover, a friend has told me that separation due to the fault of another woman is no longer legally recognised. What advice can you give me ?

Dear Madam, even if yours were a case of pathological jealousy, having you interdicted would not be enough. Your husband cannot throw you out of your home without committing an act of violence, which could cost him dearly in legal terms. For your own peace of mind we would advise you to contact a marital lawyer, even just for consultancy purposes, and have them explain to you in detail how to go about a possible separation and a subsequent divorce. We can tell you that the “fault” in a separation gives some extra advantages to the “victim-wife”, even if Italian law does not really satisfy betrayed spouses. If your husband has been violent with you, this behaviour could be a valid reason to request separation due to fault on his part. In your case however, it seems that proof of his unfaithfulness may be useful for you in order to demonstrate to your family and to yourself that you are not imagining things. What is worrying about a possible separation from your husband is that he appears to be a violent man, organise things in such a way as to expose yourself as little as possible to vengeful behaviour.

Published on: 24 Feb 2005